When an argument starts to burn or there is a confrontation or tensions are building, press FREEZE.
FREEZE life for a time. Allow everything and everyone to calm down.
This gives all parties time for reflection and to consider how the other person is feeling and why. Look upon the situation with their eyes. What do they want? Why are they reacting in this way? What possible compromises and solutions are available?
When everything is calm again, go back to the conversation. Discuss it in the following way. Begin with both parties apologising and stating what they could have done better. “I apologise, I could have done this better and I could have said this better.” Present your understanding of the other person’s perspective. “My understanding is that you wish to ……… because ………… My perspective is that I wish to ………. because …….”
“These are the possible compromises and solutions I can think of …….”
Then allow the other person the same opportunity to do this.
Afterwards discuss calmly the best way forward from the suggestions made.
Surmount the storm