Sit silently and observe your current mental state and emotions. What do I feel? Why do I feel this?
When you find your mind wandering and worrying say to yourself, ‘COME BACK’ to bring yourself back into the moment.
Tune into your moods.
Set aside a worry time for your mind. Instead of worrying often about matters, only allow yourself to worry within a certain time frame. If you feel worries coming over you, state to yourself that they are to be cleared until worry time.
Dim the lights 1 hour before bedtime and indulge in relaxing activities.
Avoid looking at anything with a screen. The light keeps you awake and alert.
10 minutes before bedtime sit in a comfortable chair in the dimly lit room. Imagine the outline of your body and slowly trace it in your mind. Pay attention to the amount of pressure you are feeling against the chair, where there is more pressure and where there is less.
Is your head touching the back of the chair? How heavy does it feel against the chair, the wall or just the air?
Continue these questions for your ears, shoulders, arms, legs and feet. Then work your way back up. If your mind wanders bring it back to the exercise.
Stand up straight with your back upright but not stiff. Feel your feet touching the ground and let your weight distribute evenly.
Curl the thumb of your left hand in and wrap your fingers around it. Wrap your right hand around it resting your thumb in the crevice formed between your left thumb and index finger. This creates balance and keeps swinging arms from being a distraction.
Drop your gaze slightly.
Step out with your left foot. Feel it swing, feel the heel hit the ground, now the ball, now the toes.
Keep walking in this way.
Take off your shoes and walk bare foot on the grass.
When an argument starts to burn or there is a confrontation or tensions are building, press FREEZE.
FREEZE life for a time. Allow everything and everyone to calm down.
This gives all parties time for reflection and to consider how the other person is feeling and why. Look upon the situation with their eyes. What do they want? Why are they reacting in this way? What possible compromises and solutions are available?
When everything is calm again, go back to the conversation. Discuss it in the following way. Begin with both parties apologising and stating what they could have done better. “I apologise, I could have done this better and I could have said this better.” Present your understanding of the other person’s perspective. “My understanding is that you wish to ……… because ………… My perspective is that I wish to ………. because …….”
“These are the possible compromises and solutions I can think of …….”
Then allow the other person the same opportunity to do this.
Afterwards discuss calmly the best way forward from the suggestions made.
People feel simply great when they feel that they have been properly listened to. It helps to give an inner peace.
Here is a technique for listening in a mindful way …
Step 1 – Focus on one thing you are feeling stressed about and one thing you are excited about.
Step 2 – Both people give their thoughts. Try to listen with a kindness, an interest and be accepting.
Step 3 – Have a conversation about how it feels to talk about something stressful and how it feels to share something exciting. Pay attention to your emotions and feelings in your body when you are talking and listening.
Step 4 – Discuss.
How did you feel when you spoke?
How did you feel when you listened?
Did your mind wander?
What distracted you?
What brought your attention back?
Did you make judgements when listening?
How did judging feel inside you?
How did you feel just before you spoke?
How are you feeling now?
What do you think would happen if you followed this method with each and every person you spoke to?
Do you think it could make a difference in relationships with others?
Listen to the sound of chimes in stillness.
What sounds can you hear in your body? How about outside?
To improve the quality of your life it is important to have compassion for yourself.
When you feel the need …
PUT A HAND ON YOUR HEART
TAKE A FEW DEEP BREATHS
Vocalize. “Suffering is real, it is hurtful and I give myself permission to feel it.”
Vocalize. “This is suffering. Suffering is part of being human. Let me love and accept myself, just as I am.”
Make a gratitude list and include 10 things you are grateful for, be specific.
Speak to your heart with the following words. ‘May I be happy, may I be well, may I be filled with kindness and peace.’
Call to mind things you have done out of good-heartedness. Find joy in those memories.
Speak to you heart. “May I live in safety, may I have mental happiness, peace and joy. May I have physical happiness and freedom from pain.”
Repeat the phrases so they fall into a rhythm that is pleasing to you.
Each time you notice your attention has wandered, be kind to yourself and let go of the distraction. Come back to repeating the phrases without judging or disparaging yourself.
After some time, visualise yourself in the centre of a circle composed of those who have been kind to you or have inspired you because of their love. Experience yourself as the recipient of their love and attention. Hear their phrases of kindness.
To close the session, slowly repeat the phrases of kindness softly and then gradually let go of the visualisation.